Fight me
by ChristineBH
Summary: Sirius is in the hospital and is tragically close to dying of boredom. In his search to find amusement he meets three different nurses but only wishes one of them would stay and amuse him. Inspired by a tumblr post.


Sirius was bored. He had been alone in the hospital for 3 hours and he had already written his best friend James two times explaining the true irony of dying of boredom because of hospitalisation. His only entertainment in the long 3 hours was when he tried to annoy one of the older nurses by asking for pillows repeatedly. To Sirius' disappointment, it didn't work and instead she seemed to find him "as cute as a button". Women. The only thing that brought Sirius just a bit of joy in this dark and horrible world was that her shift ended half an hour ago, so she couldn't annoy him any longer with her grandmotherly looks and non-flirtatious giggles. However, she _did_ bring him pillows and even helped him stack them on top of himself before she left, so Sirius guessed she could have been worse. Not by much though. She was so awful that she sniggered a bit when Sirius put the first pillow on his face.

Suddenly Sirius heard the door to his room open softly. It sounded a bit odd and muffled through the pillow on his face but there was no mistaking. Someone was coming into his room. Sirius collected as much air as he could from his spot under the pillows and exclaimed, "Fight me." Sirius could hear steps coming closer to him before some of the pillows was removed from his face and a male nurse with light brown hair and a scarred but friendly face came into view. The face looked amused and caring but less like it was looking at a child than the older nurse's had. The male nurse said with a slight shake of his head, "Maybe later. Right now I just need to check your vitals." Sirius stayed silent though the check-up to his own surprise, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence and they both shared a smile when the nurse had to leave again.

Time passed even slower after that. If there were a heart rate monitor in the room it would beep normally, but Sirius knew that it wasn't possible he wasn't dying from his boredom. Without intending to Sirius fell asleep despite it only being around one in the afternoon, and when he woke up it was starting to get dark outside. Sirius lay and thought about how he had to pee but really didn't want to call a nurse, especially if that nurse turned out to be the male nurse he saw earlier. As if summoned the door opened and said nurse entered. He smiled politely at Sirius and told him he was there to to check up on Sirius. Sirius wanted to say something. Something smart and witty. Something that would be so brilliant and said in such a charming way that historians would have to write about it for centuries.

Instead, Sirius said the first thing that popped into his head and not nearly as charmingly delivered as intended because of the coughing fit that started as Sirius tried to repeat the only line he formally had said to the nurse. Sirius' lungs burned a bit because of the coughing but the only thing he could think of was that he hoped he wouldn't pee in his pants. Sirius noticed the nursed had walked over to him when he felt a hand on his back trying to ease the couching. He looked up and saw the nurse smiled at him in a friendly way and said, "I won't fight you, Mr. Black, because I know that you will win over me and that would be too embarrassing to handle." Sirius thought he knew embarrassment a bit better than the nurse at that moment and he couldn't even vocalise it because of the coughing which just made it worse. It had started as a normal cough but evolved into an ugly one that burned his lungs and filled the room with an even more unpleasant sounds than before. Eventually the coughing stopped to both Sirius' and the nurse's relief but more importantly to Sirius was the fact that he did not pee his pants, but to his horror his pillow now had dark spots of drool. Feeling embarrassed, Sirius moved his arm so he could turn his pillow around but that pointed the problem out rather than hide it. The nurse left immediately with it but came back within a minute and gave Sirius a new pillow. The nurse asked if Sirius wanted help with anything and left as soon as he saw Sirius shaking his head. The nurse turned around to leave and Sirius' bladder reminded him he actually needed some help but the nurse was gone before Sirius could ask to go to the bathroom or at least thank him for not getting annoyed while trying to let Sirius have just some of his dignity while drooling like an infant.

Minutes passed with Sirius lying alone with both arms over his head in mental agony and this time he was far from bored. Instead, his thoughts kept jumping back to the nurse and all the embarrassment life had offered him today. Taking a deep breath Sirius removed his arms and pulled the string next to his bed. Not long after came a female nurse he had never seen before. It was awkward to ask a stranger if she could help him to a bathroom but he was in the hospital for a reason and he was feeling weak on his feet even though he probably would be discharged around noon the next day. However, it was better to ask this strange nurse than having to ask the male nurse. This nurse was nice too, Sirius supposed it came with the job, but the smiles and words seemed more polite and less genuine than with the two other nurses Sirius had met.

Sadly, the whole affair increased in awkwardness in the bathroom when the nurse insisted she had to be in the bathroom with Sirius. She wasn't trying to be a pervert, or at least Sirius didn't think so, but it seemed a bit unnecessary since she would be right outside the bathroom door if she wasn't in the room with him, and Sirius was weak but not too weak to stand while he peed. In the end, Sirius won and got to pee by himself with an unlocked door between him and the strange nurse and as soon as she heard the flush of the toilet, she opened the door and made sure Sirius could wash his own hands. It was all very patronising but Sirius was later very proud of himself for keeping his mouth shut and therefore getting back to his boring room and away from nurses treating him like he was either a child or disabled faster than if he protested.

Back at his room Sirius decided to not bother with finding amusement and just slept instead. It was completely dark outside by then but it was still a lot earlier than Sirius' normal bedtime which made it hard for him to fall asleep, especially with the nap he took earlier, but somehow he managed to fall asleep anyway.

Sirius woke up early the next morning. He wasn't sure what time it was but a bit of dark still lingered outside so it couldn't be much more than 5. Sirius turned to his side and saw a white, paper cup with an ugly and green gift shop logo on it standing on the bedside table and filled the room with a coffee scent. Sirius sat up in his bed and took the cup. To his surprise, it was still a bit hot. Not as hot as coffee normally is drunk but not cold enough to be totally gross. Sirius was about to take a sip when the door to his room opened and revealed the male nurse from the day before. In his hand was a steaming hot cup of coffee identical to the one in Sirius' hand. He looked fully awake but the discolouring under his eyes revealed that he had been up all night on a shift. The nurse's face started to redden and Sirius was about to get worried about his health when he noticed the nurse's restless feet and fumbling hands around the cup which made Sirius secretly smirk a bit to himself. Shaking his head at himself the nurse walked fully into the room and closed the door. With sudden and obviously fake confidence the nurse said, "I came to switch your coffee. Since it's probably cold now, unless you like that then you can keep it." For once the amused expression wasn't directed at Sirius but was sent from him when he heard the nurse starting to fumble with his words. They stared at each other for a bit until the nurse asked, "So you want to switch your cup or not?" Sirius couldn't get himself to answer probably so he settled with nodding. The nurse quickly switched the cups and seemed a bit more like he was the day before as soon as the cups were switched. He sent Sirius a last smile and walked out the door drinking half-cold coffee with a rigid back.

Sirius looked after him long after the door was closed and wondered what the hell just happened. Was it normal that nurses made sure that patients had hot coffee from the gift shop? It seemed odd but Sirius didn't mind. It was nice actually but it would have been nicer if the nurse had stayed. Sirius finally took a sip of coffee. It tasted weird, like one would expect hospital coffee to taste, and he couldn't figure out if he hated or loved the few sips he got out of the cup. He was about to put the cup on the bedside table when he saw writing on the cup where his hand was holding it. Sirius turned the cup with surprisingly carefulness for someone like him and suddenly understood the nurse's nervousness. Someone had written a phone number on the cup under two familiar words.

 _Fight me?_


End file.
